Emergency Survival List

Gun, nine millimeters, clean and oiled,
With five loaded magazines,
Tucked in holster.

Baseball bat, regulation size,
Aluminum alloy,
In room corner, behind the door.

Large hunting knife, carbon steel,
Black-coated, fixed blade,
With mean serrated edges,
For best results.

Wooden stake, twelve inches long,
Lacquer coated, small chain,
In breast pocket, ready for action.

Running shoes, waterproofed,
Dark color, with no reflective strips,
Set to be laced.

Vampire sunscreen, SPF 9000,
Toothbrush with extra-long bristles,
Arm & Hammer toothpaste,
In a heavy-duty Ziploc bag.

Family portrait, names written on back,
With a love note, if possible,
Sealed in hard plastic,
And a note to self.


December 8, 2016


My first trip back through time took place on early Monday,
Just as I awoke from slumber deep,
Strolled into the bathroom for some water,
When I sensed an urge so deep to sneeze.

The oddest charge came rushing through my body,
Sensation I had never known before,
The ringer in my nose turned quite alarming,
I sneezed, and found myself in Harvard square.

The time looked like a day from middle sixties,
Given by the way the crowd was dressed,
Dr. King spoke from behind the podium,
People cheered at front, I sneezed again.

In my bathroom, staring at the mirror,
Confusion with reality mixed to match,
Did I wake, or was I still a dreaming?
As I pondered that I sneezed again.

Band rehearsal, high school banners hanging,
Mr. Young directs with confident hand,
I stood there at the center of horn section,
The music stopped at once, I sneeze again.

What to do? I washed my face with water,
This time voyage was getting out of hand,
All I had on was a pair of boxers,
Brushed my teeth, got ready, no, too late.

Silent meadow, farm house, barn, horizon,
Piston engine sound behind the trees,
Bi-plan soared above into the heavens,
Gunshot, whizz, I’d better sneeze again.

In the shower, wash in steaming water,
Just can’t sneeze, no way, no way, no how,
Should I call my doc or physics professor?
Dried myself and dressed for any chance.

Dialed the school, ”Is Doctor Karnes available?”
Told my day in brief, he laughed so hard,
Maybe I should come to sneeze in tandem,
Doctor laughed, “Sure, let’s give that a chance.”

In his office, “Sure you’re sane, not crazy?”
Silence, stood together by his desk,
“I have class to teach in twenty minutes”
A sneeze was growing within, I grabbed his hand.

In an instant, we are in some forest,
Pawpawsaurus growled right to our left,
Doctor Karnes retreated to the bushes,
“NO!” I yelled for him and sneezed again.

Back at Doctor’s office I stood silent,
What was I to do? My heart sank low,
Secret held, I walked out of the building,
Better go and get some nasal spray.


November 21, 2013