Counter Life

In a parallel world, I have made different choices,
I did not fall in love, I made giant mistakes.
In that twin universe, we did not meet each other,
And all that we know never ever took place.

In a parallel world, I’m a violent felon,
Get in fights, beat and rob, also spent time in jail.
In that twin universe, I have nothing to live for,
Only suffering loss, pain, regret, and despair.

In a parallel world, I have married another,
We did somewhat okay, only just for a while.
In that place over there we fought much, hate each other,
We were coupled together, but never a pair.

The weather out there in that parallel universe,
Is the same as is here, seasons, sunshine, and rain.
All the towns and the streets are too, pretty identical,
So are dreams, hopes, desires, and people who care.

It’s the choice that is different, at that one intersection,
When an option presents, you take left instead right.
That’s how chances are missed and sure futures lose merit,
To a life that heads downhill instead of to great.

In a parallel world, I took different direction,
That had changed life forever for me and for some.
In that twin universe, I did not write this poem,
Or anything else I created in time.

 

September 13, 2020

לֶחֶם

טיולית badford ©1969, friedman-tours.com

הסיפור הבא התרחש לפני שנים רבות בקצה רמת גן, במקום שבו רחוב הירדן הזורם בנתיב מקביל לנהר ממזרח שעל שמו הוא קרוי. שם, היכן שהוא פוגש ברחוב אלוף שדה, זה המושך משכונת רמת אפעל מערבה אל הערים גבעתיים ותל אביב. במקום שבו עומדים כיום בתי דירות גבוהים המשקיפים אל גגות הרעפים האדומים של שכונת רמת חן שמדרום. על אותו שטח ממש שכן פעם בניין אבן חד קומתי. היה זה בניין לבן וסתמי, נצר לארכיטקטורה הסגפנית שאפיינה את ענף הבניה בשנותיה הראשונות של העיר. בניין חסר חן או יחוד, שלא הסגיר את ייעודו בכל אופן לעוברים ולשבים. אלה מצידם היו חולפים על פניו מבלי משים, אצים לדרכם ברחובות העיר שנדמו אז כאילו היו גדולים ורחבים והיום גדושים ופקוקים הם כעורקיו של חולה לב רגע לפני שהתנועה דמה בהם. על אף ששכן אך כקילומטר בודד מבתינו, לנו הילדים נתפס אז הצומת כמקום רחוק, כזה שפוגשים רק אם חולפים דרכו בנסיעה. נהגנו לחצותו בדרך כלל בסופי שבוע, דחוסים בסדר ישיבה קבוע על הספסל האחורי של החיפושית הלבנה בדרכינו ליעד כזה או אחר. כמו רבים אחרים, גם אנו לא שעינו אל אותו בניין, והוא נטמע אל תוך השעמום האורבני של בתי מגורים דו ותלת קומתיים שניצבו לאורך רחובות העיר המתפתחת ובאזור כולו.

כל זה השתנה ביום אביב חמים אחד, לקראת סוף כיתה ה’. ישבנו אז בני ובנות הכיתה לאורך ספסלי משאית טיולים רועשת שהובילה אותנו מבית הספר אל שיעור שחיה בבריכה העירונית. המשאית חרקה וגנחה לאורך המסע בן עשר הדקות כמו היתה ספינת משא החותרת דרכה בין גלי ים סוערים. משהגיעה זו אל מול בניין האבן האטה ועצרה, גומעת לעצמה שניות ארוכות של מנוחה נוהמת לאורו של הרמזור האדום שבצומת. השקט הרגעי אפשר לנו שניות יקרות של שיחה בטונים נמוכים יותר, אך אלו נדמו גם הן משהתחוורה החוויה החדשה בנחירינו. מבעד לחלונות המשאית הפתוחים חדר ואפף אותנו ניחוח עשיר ומגרה של לחם טרי באפייתו. מבטינו תרו מצד לצד, מנסים לאתר את מקור הריח. תוך שניות נפתרה החידה. בית האבן הלבן, חסר הגינונים והצביון הכיל בתוכו מאפיה קטנה! והריח, אוה הריח. מהסוג שלא חשוב מתי אכלת לאחרונה וכמה ואם בכלל רעב אתה. לחם אכול תאכל, עכשיו ומיד. בלי חמאה, גבינה, או כל ממרח אחר. לחם טרי וחם שריחו מזמין לנגוס בו ללא שהות, דוחק בך לקרוע ממנו חלק גדול ולמלא בו את פיך. לתחוב אצבעות קשיחות אל תוך רכותו החמה ולבצע בו מעשים מגונים של רעב ותשוקה ולשחרר ממנו אדים לחים המכים בחוזקה בנחיריים רוטטות… אוההה… לחם טרי…

הרמזור התחלף לירוק והספינה הפליגה דרומה. ואנו, חבורה תמימה ומזיעה של בני אחת עשרה נותרנו ותאוותינו בידינו. דקות ספורות אחר כך כבר טבלנו במימי הבריכה שקיררו את גופינו המיוזעים ותשוקתנו ההומה. שנים עוד יעברו לפני שנחווה סוגים אחרים של תאווה בעוצמה שכזו. אבל ממש כמו בדברים אחרים מסוג שכזה, את הפעם הראשונה לא שוכחים.

English Translation
April 18, 2020

בַּיּוֹם הַזֶּה

ביום הזה

,הַיּוֹם אֲנִי זוֹכֵר
,יְלָדִים שֶׁהִכַּרְתִּי פַּעַם
,חַיָּלִים שֶׁפָּגַשְׁתִּי אָז
,אֲחֵרִים שֶׁלֹּא יָדַעְתִּי שְׁמָם
.מֵעוֹלָם

,שֵׁמוֹת מֻכָּרִים
,שֵׁמוֹת זָרִים
,שֵׁמוֹת יִשְׂרְאֵלִים
.שְׁמוֹת הַמֵּתִים

,רֻבָּם צְעִירִים
,מַמָּשׁ יְלָדִים
,תָּמִיד בְּמַדִּים
.חֶלְקָם מְחַיְּכִים

,תְּחִלַּת הַחַיִּים
,בְּנֵי בְּעֵרֶךְ עֶשְׂרִים
,יָפִים, אַמִּיצִים
.מֻכְשָׁרִים, מוּכָנִים

,מִבֵּין הַדַּפִּים
,עוֹלִים סִפּוּרִים
,חֲלוֹמוֹת, תִכְנוּנִים
.לְחַיִּים אֲרֻכִּים

,מַצֵּבוֹת לְבָנוֹת
,בְּשׁוּרוֹת אֲרֻכּוֹת
,חָתְמוּ הַתִּקְווֹת
.מִשְׁפָּחוֹת אֲבֵלוֹת

,בַּיּוֹם הַקָּדוֹשׁ
,שׁוּב שָׁרִים לוֹ יְהִי
,בִּשְׁתִיקָה מִתְיַחְדִים
.עִם זִכְרוֹן הַמֵּתִים

יום הזכרון, תש”פ
English Translation
Memorial Day, 2020

The Wall

Someone shook my shoulder to wake me up. The chill sent me shivering as I awakened from an uncomfortable slumber. The ground I laid on instantly reminded me of where I was. I held my hand up and looked at my Seiko. The hands glowed dimly. 2 a.m. Time to get up.

My buddy waited a few feet away. I stood up, pulled my vest over my shoulders, and checked my weapon. “I’m good,” I whispered and moved away to take over the guard shift. My buddy took his vest off and settled on the same spot on the cold stones I had just freed.

I took a deep breath of the cold air and looked around. No steps or voices were heard from the street below our position. No cars or busses revved their engines on the steep hills. No Muezzin called to prayer through the mosques’ loudspeakers. Only street, house, and yard lights glittered as far as I could see.

I started walking the patrol path toward the Zion gate, careful on the uneven stones beneath my boots. Nighttime sights of the city of Jerusalem, dipped in a soft yellow glow, interrupted by shadows and darkness. Silhouettes of old buildings, stone towers, and curved hills stood against the darker skies like giant waves in a frozen primordial ocean.

I savored the view for a moment, then returned my attention to my mission. No suspicious activity appeared in the vicinity. Really, there was no activity at all. The last people to return to their homes or cars had done so hours ago. I turned back and walked toward my sleeping buddies.

≈≈≈≈≈

We were officer school cadets brought here to reinforce the police securing the influx of visitors during the Passover holiday. Since ancient times, Pesach had been one of the three pilgrimage holidays for Jews. Jews in antiquity made the Mitzvah of Aliya Le-Regel, the deed of making the pilgrimage to Jerusalem from all over the kingdom. Although this tradition was now a relic of the past, the holiday still brought the masses to camp out in parks throughout Israel. Wherever anyone looked it seemed as if the entire population of Israel moved in pilgrimage.

We had arrived in the city a couple of days before to assume our duties. We were divided into small groups of a few soldiers each and dispersed to a variety of missions; manning guard positions in parks, patrolling streets and alleys, stopping mischief, and keeping peace and safety for all. Just the day before, our team patrolled a public park. We walked around in full gear for the entire afternoon and watched people picnic and eat together while children played around. We scanned for potential danger while assuming our presence as a deterrent for troubles.

≈≈≈≈≈

Breathing in the night air, I paced slowly, shivering, and fighting off weariness and boredom. I focused on the valley to the south, with its sprawled village of Silwan and the distant light of the other villages of East Jerusalem. I passed the sleeping pack of my buddies and continued down toward the Dung gate. As I neared the far end of the patrol path, I could see the edge of the Western Wall. Cold air blew from the desert, chilling my body despite my coat. I checked my watch. Only ten minutes had passed since I started my shift. Time crawled at moments like this. I knew checking my watch only slowed it down more. I kept walking.

The physical and mental pressure of combat service sometimes lulled a soldier into a safe mode, limiting one to the task at hand while ignoring or outright missing the bigger picture of the mission. The rigorous routine of security operations is overwhelming, throwing young soldiers into a tight cycle of guard duty, eat, rest, repeat. The passage of day and night becomes indistinguishable as everything revolves around the next call time. You could enter this survival mode of a sort; be ready for duty on time, rest, and sleep when possible, if possible. And don’t forget to eat. Mealtime may fall during sleep time. Still, this week’s assignment came as a welcomed break from the advanced training. We were allowed to slow down to enjoy a change in both pace and scenery.

≈≈≈≈≈

I reached the end of the path and turned to walk back uphill. The cold breeze blowing from the south gained speed in the narrow valley and washed over the wall, carrying desert scents over the ancient stones into the old city. My layers were no match for the onslaught. My misery slowed my patrol time even more. I let my thoughts wander to how many steps I will walk until the shift change and which position was cozier right now; laying on the ground or standing up? I searched for imaginary warmth in the distant shimmering lights. A comforting thought: at least it was not raining. In a few hours, the sun would be up. The temperature would rise. We would have breakfast, get a new assignment, and be somewhere else. More importantly – I wouldn’t be freezing.

Walking slowly, I looked at the dark path ahead of me. The irregular stones revealed nothing but shadows and uncertainty. My sleepy mind dismissed the vision as another reminder of my chilled agony, but it returned and stared at me. Waiting.

In an instant, I jerked to full alert, excited by a vivid insight. The deeper meaning of my being here with my fellow cadets just dawned on me. Our presence took on a sudden bright relevance. This was no longer just another typical security mission. I was not pulling a routine guard duty shift. Standing there in uniform and full combat gear with a gun at hand, I realized, I was a new member of a distinct and honorable group, a part of the company that carried the same duty for well over two millennia. I was a link in a long line of soldiers that continued through era after era, facing different enemies, wearing different gear and armaments, but living the same mission: Jewish soldiers, standing guard on the Wall of the Old City of Jerusalem. I doubted King David’s troops had worn coats as good as the one I had on. I no longer felt cold.

 

January 26, 2005

Imagine

Suppose there was cream in a jar,
That could give you the chops for musician,
Play the keyboards like Wakeman or Hancock,
Or guitars like Jim Hendrix or Page.
You would rub quick the ointment on hands,
And the music will flow from your fingers,
For great owe, inspiration and thrill,
As if this was your skill, to begin with.

Pretend that a pill was dispensed,
That allowed you to instantly paint,
Use a brush like Da Vinci, Monet,
Classic artist or modern caprice.
You would take it with water or wine,
Touch the brush to the palette, and there!
Grow breathtaking images on canvas,
For the people to gather and glare.

Assume that a capsule produced,
That would instantly give you the wisdom,
Of Plato, Aristotle, or Pascal,
Philosophers, masters of art.
Have the wits of these greats in your mind,
To think, write, teach, imagine and bright,
Be the light for the people et al,
Bring humanity forward in time.

Imagine a potion existed,
To teach mankind the meaning of love,
To care and to cherish, to know,
All that God put on Earth to belong.
To run evil far from this world,
To bring on peace, heaven here now,
End all war, despair, hatred, and pain,
For all people from younglings to worn.

Trivial, youthful the thought that puts forth,
Such good wishes of ease, less effort,
For the life that each makes for thou self,
Needs commitment, true depth, and hard work.

 

January 28, 2020

תֵּשַׁע בַּכִּכָּר

“,דִּירוֹת בְּתֵל אָבִיב הֵן כְּמוֹ גֶּבֶר שָׁוֶה”
,הִיא אָמְרָה וְהִבִּיטָה אֶל מוֹרָד הָרְחוֹב
,כְּשֶׁאַחַת מִתְפַּנָּה, קוֹפְצִים עָלֶיהָ מָלֵא מִתְעַנְיְינִים”
,וּכְשֶׁאַתָּה מִתְקַשֵּׁר, מִתְבָּרֵר שֶׁזֶּה כְּבַר לֹא רֶלֶוַונְטִי
“.וְנִשְׁאֲרוּ רַק הַדִּירוֹת הַדְּפוּקוֹת שֶׁאַתָּה כְּבָר מַכִּיר

,הִמְשִׁיכָה וְלָגְמָה מִכּוֹס הַקָּפֶה
,חָלָב רָזֶה, לְלֹא מַמְתִּיק
,יוֹנִים אֲדִישׁוֹת נִקְּרוּ סָבִיב
,הַצְּלָלִים שֶׁבַּכִּכָּר הָיוּ אֲרֻכִּים עֲדַיִן
.אַךְ נָעִים הָיָה לָשֶׁבֶת בַּחוּץ

,שַׁבָּת בַּבֹּקֶר בַּכִּכָּר הַמִּתְחַדֶּשֶׁת
,מִרְפָּסוֹת בָּאוּהָאוּס לְבָנוֹת מְצִיצוֹת אֶל הַמִּזְרָקָה הַשּׁוֹקֶקֶת
,מִבֵּין פִיקוּסִים זְקֵנִים
,הָעִיר שֶׁלֹּא נִרְדֶּמֶת לְעוֹלָם
.מִתְעוֹרֶרֶת לְבֹקֶר חָרְפִּי חָדָשׁ

,לַעֲבֹר דִּירָה הוּא מַעֲשֶׂה לֹא פָּשׁוּט
,זֶה שִׁנּוּי אֲוִירָה וְשִׁנּוּי הֶרְגֶלִים
,וַעֲקִירַת שֹׁרָשִׁים וְהַרְבֵּה אַרְגָּזִים
,וְזֶה גַּם קְצָת מַזְכִּיר פִּתְאוֹם
.שֶׁכֻּלָּנוּ מִזְדַּקְּנִים

,לַעֲזֹב אֶת הָעִיר
,אַחֲרֵי שְׁלוֹשִׁים שָׁנָה וּקְצָת
,הָרְחוֹבוֹת הָרָזִים מִצְטַלְּבִים כָּאן כְּמוֹ פַּעַם
,זֶה אֲנַחְנוּ שֶׁשִּׁנִּינוּ מָקוֹם
.וְהוֹסַפְנוּ מִשְׁקָל

,יְלָדִים שֶׁגָּדְלוּ וְהוֹרִים שֶׁבָּגְרוּ
,אֲהָבוֹת שֶׁפָּרְחוּ, נִשּׁוּאִים שֶׁכָּבוּ
,הַצְּלָלִים מִתְקַצְּרִים, הַשֶּׁמֶשׁ עָלְתָה
,הַשִּׂיחָה מִתְגַּלְגֶּלֶת, מַמְשִׁיכָה
.כּוֹס הַקָּפֶה הִתְרוֹקְנָה

English Translation
February 15, 2020

Dog Day Poetry

Jarrod stared at his laptop. The lines he typed an hour ago lurked on the screen, unmoved, uninspiring, uninteresting. He read the stanza from the top, hoping to jump-start his brain and add a few more lines to complete the poem. Nothing brewed in him. Instead, something else became clear. This was not a poem. Not even the beginning for one. It was a poor attempt at being smart, unique, thoughtful. He pondered whether to save it or junk it, and finally decided on the latter. The screen blinked and turned white again, the cursor blinking at the top left, challenging him to go at it again. He sighed, a little louder than was appropriate, given the circumstance.

The sound attracted some attention at the coffee shop. A woman seated at a table a few feet away from him raised her eyes from her book and glared at him admonishingly. Jarrod smiled apologetically and straightened in his chair. The laptop screen glared at him, like a teacher staring down a student tardy with his school work. He placed his hands on the keyboard as if hoping they will start typing away and do his work for him, relieving his anxiety. But to no avail. The screen remained black, as was his mind.

Frustrated, he closed his laptop and looked around. The woman at the table near him read her book and ignored him. A couple at the corner table was having a conversation over salads, but he could not hear them. The two baristas organized items behind the counter. Outside on the street, the traffic hummed its casual city theme. Jarrod deliberated whether to leave the coffee shop or stay. His coffee cup sat empty, and he had no desire to refile it. The woman with the book looked attractive. He might try to strike up a conversation with her, perhaps mention his writings. He will read her a poem or two, impress her, maybe invite her to have dinner with him. Oh, who was he kidding? He could impress no one. He was an unknown poet, one of millions just like him. Creative, hopeful, frustrated. Spending his afternoon at a coffee shop with nothing to show.

Over the years he read some of his works at different gatherings of local writers. He attended a number of regional conventions, listened to the lectures, and tried to interest some publishers in his writings. One of them, an older man who resembled Jarrod’s high school shop teacher looked at his folder, and returned it to him after a quick scan, sneering “Keep working and see me in five years.” Five years?! He has been honing his poetry for more than twelve! He thought he was a good poet. He knew he was a good writer. But sadly, he was the only one to recognize those facts.

Jarrod wanted to get noticed, to be successful, he very much wanted to do so. Get published and earn a living from his books. Be the one everyone waits for before starting a poets’ meeting, come to seek advice from, try to befriend, wish to be like. He wanted to be everything he was not. But he could not achieve that to save his life. Hack, even the woman reading next to him did not pay attention to him. She kept to her book, turning page after page, enjoying herself. The only time she noticed him was when he sighed. Well, at least that was something. The couple in the corner did not turn their heads toward him even once. What does one need to do to get noticed? What??

Get noticed, he thought. Be famous. Be known. His endless efforts at writing clever, engaging, original poetry yielded no results. Maybe he should get recognized for something else, and let his poetry rise naturally to the surface as people learn of him. He needed to perform some heroic act. Save someone in a dangerous situation. Someone’s life, just like in the movies. His heart raced, imagining him throwing himself into danger while bystanders look on. Save a person. Save the day. Be famous. Be known. Oh, come on! He was no hero. Only in his dreams. He wouldn’t offer to help an old lady to cross the street, afraid she will mistake his offer for a purse-snatching attempt and smack him with a bag, yelling for bystanders for help. He sighed again, careful to do it quietly. He was always misunderstood. His poetry. His ambitions. Everything he was. His entire life was one long saga of misunderstandings. But he was going to change that, he decided. He was going to change that today.

Jarrod looked outside, hoping to find a clue in the urban scenery. He found it quickly, standing across the street under a green and white sign. He gathered his belongings into his bag, threw his cup in the trash can by the door, and left. He crossed the street, careful with the drivers who had to negotiate his jaywalking. His intended target had a glass door that felt heavy and cool to the touch. He pushed it in and entered the lobby.

“Welcome to Merchant Savings Bank. May I help you?” the teller in the middle window motioned from him to approach.

“Just a second.” Jarrod took out his folder and opened it as if searching for some paperwork. He looked to both sides. There were no security guards visible. One would occasionally stand by the front door or somewhere in the lobby. If a robber walked in right now, no one would be there to stop them. No one but him. He will be the one, that hero, the one everyone will recognize, the one who will give interviews on TV later on. Jarrod noticed a sitting area to the right; two sofas and a table. A self-help coffee machine stood near it. He walked over and sat down, facing the front door. He reopened his folder and shuffled the papers in it.

“Good afternoon, sir,” a lady came out from the office to his left. “Is someone helping you?”

“Umm, I… I mean… not yet,” he fumbled his words. “I… I’ll be ready in a few minutes,”

“Well, let me know when you are ready, and I will be happy to help you,” she smiled and returned to her office.

Jarrod checked his watch. If a robber was not going to walk through the front door in ten minutes or so, he will have to come up with a new plan. He couldn’t just sit here the whole day and wait. Someone was bound to get suspicious and call the police. He will need to answer questions, be embarrassed, or worse. The worse part worried him. He would not be able to afford a lawyer. He would lose the small savings he had. No, he realized. Unacceptable solution. He needed to think of a different plan.

Jarrod stood up. The banker who addressed him earlier rose from her chair.

“I’m sorry, I don’t have all my papers with me,” he said before she made it out of her office. She nodded and returned to her work. Jarrod walked toward the front door. He needed to think of something.

He was about ten steps from the door when a bearded, rough-looking man walked in. The man carried a dark object in his hand and headed straight to the tellers’ window. A charge went through Jarrod’s body. This is my lucky day! He redirected his steps to intercept the man.

“Stop! Don’t move!” he yelled. The robber continued to walk as he turned his head toward the source of the noise.

“Stop!” Jarrod yelled again. The robber realized he was the target of the holler, stopped, and turned toward Jarrod.

“What is your problem?” he asked in an angry voice and looked around as if trying to assess additional danger.

“Put your hands up and get down on the floor,” Jarrod said in a stern, authoritative voice. “Now!” he said louder.

“You’d better chill before you get yourself hurt,” the robber stood in place. He was not going to obey Jarrod’s orders. Worse, he was ignoring Jarrod just like everyone else did all the time. He was disregarding Jarrod and about to rob the bank, just like that. Jarrod needed to act quickly before this robbery got away from his control.

“Is there a problem?” a man in a tan suit and blue tie featuring the bank’s logo on it approached them. The tag on his jacket read “William Hobbs, branch manager”.

The bearded man reacted first. “Hey, Bill. I came in to make my deposit and this weirdo started yelling at me,” he raised his hand to show the dark item he carried, a leather money envelope.

“And who are you, sir?” the branch manager turned to Jarrod.

“I’m… I’m,” Jarrod mumbled. “I thought he was robbing the bank.” He held tight to his folder.

“You’re damn crazy,” the bearded man dismissed him, and instantly turned his sight to the door. Everyone did the same, including Jarrod.

Two police officers walked in with their guns drawn. Blue light flashed atop a police cruiser stopped in front of the building.

“False alarm gentlemen,” the bank manager walked toward them with his hands up. “We had a simple misunderstanding here.”

“Thanks, Bill,” the first officer nodded at the bank manager and looked around. He replaced his gun in his belt. The second officer followed suit and reported something into his shoulder mic.

“So, let me get the story here,” the first officer took a step forward.

About twenty minutes later the officer finished interviewing Jarrod, the bearded man, the manager, and the lady banker. He handed Jarrod a summons for disturbing the peace with a court date for nine weeks later. Deflated, Jarrod left the bank. A TV reporter rushed to him as soon as he stepped outside.

“Were you involved in the incident earlier today?” he placed a microphone in front of Jarrod.

“Yes, yes I was,” Jarrod ran his hand through his hair.

“What were you doing at the bank?” the reporter moved closer.

“My name is Jarrod, Jarrod Sunnyvale. I am a poet. I was at the coffee shop there, across the street,” he pointed behind the reporter’s shoulder.

“I meant, what were you doing at the bank?” the reporter repeated his question.

“Like I said, I write poetry, and I was at the coffee shop, writing, and…” The officer who interviewed them exited the bank. The reporter abandoned the interview and rushed to intercept him. The cameraman lifted the video camera with its tripod and rushed after him. A red Channel 3 News logo sticker covered the right side of the camera. Jarrod looked at the small crowd watching the scene and waited for the news crew to return and continue his interview. The reporter proceeded to interview the bearded man and the bank manager. He and the cameraman returned to the news van and loaded their gear. Jarrod approached them but they ignored him and drove away. The street returned to its familiar hum. The sun rested low over the building to the west. Jarrod shuffled home slowly.

Hours later, Jarrod sat alone in his apartment. The court summons rested on the table, right next to his empty dinner plate. The 10 o’clock news came on, and he waited anxiously for his face to appear on the screen. Someone will notice, he thought. Someone is watching and is bound to recognize him. He was proud of his effort. It wasn’t the heroic act he imagined, but it was something. Not too dangerous, no one got hurt, and he got to talk to a TV reporter! He could not recall what exactly he said on camera, but he was pretty sure he mentioning his poetry. He was hopeful and eager to find out how he did. That story was sure to come up next, right after the weather report.

“And that’s the news for tonight,” the anchors returned to the screen. “Thank you for watching, and we’ll see you again starting at 5 tomorrow.” The program’s logo appeared, and a set of commercials began playing. That was it. Disappointed, Jarrod turned off the TV. There was not a single mention of his ordeal. Not a picture with his name lettered underneath. No recognition of his bravery or dedication to the written word. No chance at fame and success. He remained unknown, the same as he was before, the same he will always be. He opened his laptop and began to write.

 

December 3, 2014

Vignettigination

Painting by Carol Neiger, ©C L Neiger Fine Art

Under arm a virgin sketchbook,
Pages yet to be informed,
Clutched in hand are pens and pencils,
Colors rainbow and beyond.

Sites to see and thoughts to wonder,
Fresh ideas to spill on page,
Start a line and add some tint to,
Grow with wide strokes edge to edge.

Walk the path to the horizon,
Veer off it, and stop to rest,
Pastures green there just as much here,
Feel the grass beneath your feet.

 

November 3, 2019

Mikel

Mikel froze in place and listened. He could sense movement anywhere the building through his feet. The wood floor hummed like an orchestra, telling of and pointing out creatures large and small, moving about, walking, running, sneaking, hunting. The wood building was not very large. It had a below-ground level, an above-ground level, and an upper floor. Despite its size, it had plenty of room for all of its inhabitants. The temperature inside held steady most days, and no predators ever came in. Well, other than the giants, of course.

There were three giants living inside. They used every room, but rarely in the below-ground level. Mikel preferred to stay there for that reason. To be out of sight. To hide. The giants ate twice a day in the eating room, where the food was stored. Once in the morning after they cleaned themselves, and again in the evening after they returned from hunting and gathering, and before they moved to rest in the upper level. Mikel kept inside at all times. His choice. Leaving the building was too dangerous. He learned that through numerous painful lessons since he was young. Every time someone left the building to gather food, he would never see them again. None of them ever returned. Predators, no doubt, go them. Animals, maybe even other giants. The group became smaller and smaller until a week ago when it was down to just him and Moona. Oh, poor Moona.

There was not much to do inside, and less so to see. That would not have been such a big problem had he been able to eat normally. But gathering food was incredibly challenging, and became even more so since the giants discovered them, his group. Every time one of them found a new way to gather, the giant would defeat it and the food would be hidden again in harder to reach places. The smallest of the three giants was also the most careless and would leave pieces of food everywhere; on the floor, on the plate, in the bucket. Mikel thought it did that on purpose, so it could watch them eat it. Very strange. There was that time when Mikel found some food on the floor in the eating room and started eating it on the spot. He was so hungry. He almost lost his mind when he realized the small giant watching him silently from the stairs. Mikel ran and hid so fast he forgot to take the food with him. What a loss. Damn it!

Movement! Mikel listened intently to the heavy steps. It was one of the giants. It descended the steps and walked into the eating room. It was so close, right on the other side of the wall! Mikel shrunk his body and lowered himself to the ground, trying to disappear into the wood crevices. He hoped his stomach will not growl. He had not eaten in three days, maybe more. Getting discovered, he knew, would mean certain death. He held still. The only part of his body that moved was his heart, and it was racing.

The giant stopped. Mikel recognized the steps instantly. It was the giant. Despite its mammoth size, this giant was fast. Very fast. In a flash, Mikel remembered it chasing after Moona while another giant, the long-haired companion, howled from the top of the stairs. Mikel shivered in horror as he recalled Moona’s scream when the giant lowered the large wood on her body, killing her instantly. There was no hesitation in its move, just pure evil. It picked Moona’s limp body with its enormous fingers and carried her outside. When it returned a short time later it howled at the other giant, and they both started looking for Mikel and the others. They did not know he was the only one left. How could they? Lucky for Mikel he anticipated they would do that and hid quickly behind the curtains in the sitting room. He knew all the good hiding places. He also knew not to panic and run when the giant came near him and moved the curtains from side to side, searching. Mikel just hung there with his eyes closed, thinking of Moona. It was the scariest moment of his life.

Mikel broke his thoughts and returned his attention to the giant. It made tearing sounds in the eating room. Curiosity overwhelmed Mikel. Was it preparing food? Not at this time. The giants already ate and would turn to rest soon. So, what was it? A new sound emerged, sharp, high-peached squeaks. Metal rubbing against metal, he guessed. Was the giant building something? He wished he had a better vantage point, but moving while the giant was near was risky. He needed to think of something. Maybe if the giant was so busy with this activity it would pay less attention to its surroundings? Mikel carefully considered where to move to. He had to stay in this room, in the dark, and go somewhere with a direct line of sight to the giant. The sounds the giant made came from the counter, which made sense. The giant only did things on the counter, never on the floor. It was too big to get down, and the counter probably made it easier for it to do things, like preparing food. Mikel listened again. The giant continued with its activity. It’s time, he decided. He moved slowly along the wall, careful to avoid the squeaky floor areas, not to disturb objects along the way, do anything that could alert the giants to his presence. He stayed in the dark, keeping a good distance from the patch of light that fell on the floor from the eating room. He reached the other side of the room and hid behind the structure that held the wonder thing. Many times, one or more of the giants would gather in the room in front of it and watch as other giants made of light appeared on it and howled. But it was now quiet and dark. Mikel crouched in his hiding spot and looked at the giant. It stood with its back to Mikel and did something with its hands. This was not good enough. Mikel needed to find a better spot.

STOP!

More steps came from upstairs. Mikel instantly recognized the small giant. He heard it walking down the stairs before it appeared and stood next to the giant. They howled at each other a number of times. Mikel retreated slowly, letting the darkness cover him, hide him, protect him. He could still see well. With both of them only steps away from him he could not move anywhere. He waited. Shivering. Scared. Hungry.

The giant stopped making the metallic sounds and turned to the smaller one. It held something in its hands and showed it to the other. Mikel did not see anything like this before. It was a gray-colored device, probably a little larger than Mikel. The giant manipulated parts of the device and howled, but the smaller one did not howl back. Instead, it looked around the eating room. The giant howled again. Still, the smaller one remained mum. It now looked straight at Mikel’s direction. Could it see him? DID it see him? It was too late to move. Mikel closed his eyes. They were big and dark, but could reflect in the light coming from the eating room, exposing him. He listened and hoped. He felt no movement on the floor, only the giant continued howling.

Mikel peeked through the cracks. Both giants still stood facing each other. The smaller one howled, but in a lower voice. The giant opened the food door and took out a piece of soft cheese. Cheese! Mikel gulped. This was his favorite thing to eat! Oh, if he could only get one piece of this, just a taste, he would be so happy! If the giants would only drop it on the floor and not notice, forget to check, and leave. He would get it and eat it, and leave nothing behind, not a trace for them to find.

The howling stopped. Mikel watched as the giant placed the cheese into the device. It slowly pressed on it, which made the squeaky metallic sound again. The giant placed it on the floor. Mikel was stunned. Why was it doing that, placing food on the floor? Was it doing so on purpose? The giants were clean creatures that never left food behind them. Perhaps this was a new way for the smaller one to eat? Mikel could not figure this out. He waited.

The giant howled again, and the two turned and left the eating room. The light vanished instantly, and the place fell dark. Mikel heard the heavy footsteps. The giants climbed up the stairs. Mikel wanted to leap out of his hiding spot and grab the food, but waited. He could still hear movement upstairs. He would not dare getting exposed. He decided to wait. His eyes adjusted to the dark. The device rested in the middle of the eating room floor. The cheese smell hit his nostrils. So good! His stomach growled. Soon, he would quiet his hunger.

Mikel did not move. He relaxed his body and waited. The floor vibrations conveyed sounds from upstairs. They gradually quieted, then stopped. The giants were probably resting. Mikel stepped quickly into the eating room, the cheese smell pulling him in. He reached the device and investigated quickly. The cheese rested in the middle of the device. This would be easy, he thought. He slowly circled the device, careful not to make a sound. The cheese smell hit his nostrils hard and caused him to salivate. He completed a second turn and figured that the best way to reach the food would be through the opening on the smaller side. He stepped in and felt the cool metal against his body. The cheese was stuck on one of the metal parts. Mikel held it between his nails. Eat, finally! He pulled.

 

October 30, 2019